You're too lovable
by HallePuckerman
Summary: Santana is drunk and sick of Rachel getting in the way of her getting laid. Features Klaine, Slight Samchel, Blainchel, rry, Brochel, and Puckleberry if you squint, with a Pezberry friendship. Rated for small inuendo, and language


Hello everyone, so using this name, I have posted one fanfic on this site, and then I lost my drive for writing. I havent written ANYTHING since I posted the last chapter in my other story. I have gone through a lot in the past year and a half and this is no good, but its been stuck in my head. My first one shot or almost drabble.

"Ugh, I hate her" Santana growls as she slams the door walking into the apartment "La pequeña zorra lo hace todo el tiempo, todo el mundo piensa que ella es tan grande. Soy manera más caliente." She plops down on the couch in between Blaine and me, grabbing my wine off the coffee table downing it quicker than she should have. Sam looks terrified with his tooth brush hanging out of his mouth in the door way as Santana continues to curse rather loudly in Spanish.

"What's going on Satan? Isn't it a tad early for you to be back?" I look at my watch, "I didn't think we'd be seeing you until tomorrow, crawling in smelling of cheap tequila and shame." She glares at me, while Sam slowly into the kitchen, and Blaine tries to hold in a laugh.

"You know what, Lady? Fuck off. I just had a hellish night, and I don't want your shit. Yo, Trouty Mouth, stop your hiding and bring me a bottle of wine." I can hear Sam whimper but begin to rush around in the kitchen, quickly bringing not one, but two bottles of wine.

"What happened, Santana?" Blaine rubs her shoulder as he is rarely actually afraid of the loud Latina. "Was someone else wearing the same thing as you or-" The door opens hard, and a very angry diva appears.

"Santana Lopez!" She is panting and is actually scarier than Santana in this moment. She stands in front of the couch with her hands on her small hips. "I have one day off a week with Funny Girl, you begged me to come out with you, I said I would be delighted to go to a gay bar with you, but no. You wanted a 'challenge or a cock.' I agree to go with you, because I love you, and then what do you do? You ditch me with this handsy girl who doesn't understand that no means no." A different expression dons Santana's face.

"She touched you? Rachel, are you okay?"

"That's not the point, San. What matters is that you left me at a club all alone, with a woman who was convinced I was gay. Why would she think that, Santana?" She sits down on the arm of Sam's seat, looking at the other girl expectantly. Sam's eyes stay on Rachel with a smile. I watch Santana notice this, and go back to angry.

"I go out hoping to get my mack on, and you mess everything up. I'm using by best shit on this hot babe, and then she asks where my girlfriend went. And you see, that's a problem, because I don't remember having a girlfriend. But then she mentions the and I quote 'stunning woman, with the tight ass, and the legs that she wants to have wrapped around her head', she didn't even know you were almost famous and I just see red." Rachel blushes, Blaine looks like he is about to wet himself laughing, and Sam and Santana just look like they are going to cut someone. Seems like I have to take control of the situation

"Satan, you are beautiful, you know that you could get anyone you wanted, you just picked the wrong person to try to bed today." She finishes her bottle, wipes her mouth with her hand and starts to cry.

"It's just not fair, Rachel, you are so pretty, and soft, and talented, everyone wants you. e," she spells out the word, Rachel just shakes her head. "No, Willow, you know it's true! Why do you think that Kurt keeps Blainey here on the tightest ass leash when you two are drinking, you are young Burt ' go to make out buddy when intoxicated. He like legit goes looking for you." Blaine is no longer holding in a laugh, instead looking as embarrassed as Rachel. I reach over Santana to hold his hand. Rachel looks as if she is about to open her mouth, but Santana is ranting. "And then there was Jesse St. Dickwad, who chased you around for like 4 years. And male hooker, who brainwashed you, and I know for a fact that two guys are totally in love with you right now." Sam looks to the ground, it is so obvious he has feelings for her, has for the past year, since he and Blaine came here their senior year.

"You are so grating and loud and bossy and pretty and everyone just loves you. Even in high school when everyone was slushying you, we wanted in your pants. I know you really loved Finn, but its been a year and a half. I can help you if you want, Finn would want that" Santana leers. Rachel is now shaking her head, smiling and walking over and sitting on the coffee table her legs bumping against Santana's.

"Santana, that is the sweetest thing anyone has said to me." The two girls hug, and then both stand up "I'm sorry for ruining your night. If it makes you feel better, you can sleep in my bed tonight."

At this, Sam instantly hops up directing attention towards him, "You know, I'm in too, you can never have too many people sleeping in the same bed, I mean unless it's like some twin bed or something or maybe-" Rachel cuts him off kissing his cheek, he reddens.

"Sleep over in my bed!" Rachel screeches grabbing Blaine's hands and dragging everyone towards her room. All I can hear are delighted giggles as I grab my phone and dial a very familiar number.

"Hey, it's me. Sorry for calling so late. Miss Lopez is drunk and almost told your secret. It also seems like Sam might be getting his courage too. I have some frequent flyer miles saved up, it's time. See you Wednesday. Good night, Puckerman."

End.

thanks for reading! BTW, the spanish in the beginning is probably terrible, I used google translator,as I speak absolutely NO spanish. See you next time! :)


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